Dissociation
by IscaRedspider
Summary: Spying mission gone wrong and Bumblebee once again questioning his place among Autobots. G1 TFA AU


Minibot's feet moved fast, his steps only slightly echoed through Ark's corridors. He rushed into his quarters and locked the door behind. For few moments he just stood there then he slowly slid on the floor. Bumblebee was trying to collect himself after what happened today.

It wasn't supposed to happen. Bee only wanted help Autobots and gather that high secure chunk of information he found on Nemesis. It wasn't a problem to get in! He's so small, he can fit almost everywhere. He moves so silently that most of mechs cant even hear him. He can feel presence of other's sparks so he KNOWS positions of others cybertronians!

It was supposed to be easy and Bumblebee done it countless times. But what he didn't know is that vent he crawling through had some unscrewed panels (damn it, Ravage) and had no idea that he could just fall right onto Lugnut's head! The large Decepticon greeted him with punch.

When Bumblebee regained conscious, he felt pain, a lot of pain. His head was hurting and could feel energon leaking from left side, his right arm was missing and something was wrong with his knees. Then Bee realized how screwed he was.

His body was restrained and even if could free himself he would end up dead. Because, without opening his optics, he could sense Megatron near him. Lugnut and Starscream were also present. No Soundwave though. Part of him was glad that mind reader was absent at this moment. That meant he didn't have to deal with his mind digging. Bee never experienced it yet but he heard stories and it was the last thing he was looking for. But on other hand Soundwave would request to keep him alive for same reasons… because at the moment minibot didn't know if Megatron was going kill him. Or torture then kill.

Bumblebee couldn't focus of what they were arguing about (something about exchanging him for AllSpark? Or forcing him to find the AllSpark? What?) and was trying to figure out how to emerge alive of this situation. He didn't really had any options, not with powerful Deceptions around nor with his condition. The only option was waiting for the rescue. Bumblebee hated this, he hated this so much that in frustration he forced himself into recharge.

Next time he woke up in medbay on Ark. Ratchet greeted him with smile and asked how he was feeling. Bumblebee checked his status, anything was in place and he was feeling fine. Ratchet seemed concerned, did his spark was acting funny again? Bumblebee felt guilty, he didn't want to burden Ratchet with his malfunctions.

Primus, why he has to be so weak and fragile?

Bee thanked Ratchet for everything, the medic advised him to get rest and trying to not to worry much. Minibot knew he won't able to keep up with "not worrying" since Sunstreacker yelled at him as he stepped out of medical bay because his paintjob was ruined during rescue operation. Good thing Sideswipe was with him and he just dragged his twin away from Bumblebee.

And there he is, sitting on the floor in his quarters. Anxiety grew stronger with each passing minute, he only wanted to show that he's useful and can be like anyone else. But no, of course something went wrong, he got caught, he got hurt, Autobots had to rescue him and Ratchet had to put him together _again_..and all of this for nothing because he didn't even get to this computer with information. How he's going to explain this Optimus Prime? What anyone is thinking about him now? He failed, again. He punched the floor in frustration, stupidfragilepieceofju-

Notification alert grabbed his attention. He got out of his subspace his datapad to look at it. His best friend, Sari Sumdac, is messaging him.

 _ **BackStarUnicorn:**_ _Bee! how are you? i heard what happened and i'm worried, please answer me when you able!_

Bumblebee is starring at message like its gonna show him all secrets of Universe. He smiled, of course Sari is here! Her presence, no matter if it in person or through internet, never fails to ground him and comfort him. She never judged him for his failures and always told him he's perfect in the way he is.

Bumblebee relaxed a bit. He loves his best friend, and adores humans in general! He could relate to them on so many levels and easy understand them that he actually feels like he belongs with humans rather with his own kind. Bumblebee has his place within human society, after all he's popular video game Youtuber with 20 million people watching him. And Earth? It's so beautiful and bright, and colorful, much better than his "homeworld".

Sometimes he's thinking about quitting. Autobots won't really notice if he's gone. Well, maybe Ratchet will, after all he keeps monitoring his health… and probably just won't let him go. And he also doing this for safety of humans and Earth. He wants this war to end and that's why he still an Autobot.

Minibot looks back on datapad's screen, Sari is still online and he starts typing.

 _ **HummingBee**_ _: Hey Sari! I'm alright! :)_

Minute passed, she must be busy. Alright, maybe he should -

 _ **BlackStarUnicorn:**_ _OHMYGOSDHBEE!_

Never mind.

 _ **BlackStarUnicorn**_ _ **:**_ _you scared me! :C_

 _ **HummingBee:**_ _Sorry!_

 _ **BlackStarUnicorn:**_ _what happened? i hope Megatron didn't try to eat you or something because_

 _I._

 _WILL._

 _CUT._

 _OFF._

 _HIS._

 _KNEES!_

It made Bumblebee burst into laugh. If Sari's threatening to cut off someone's knees- shit's getting serious. Autobots already learned to not underestimate her, especially after Sunstreaker woke up from his recharge with t-cog missing. Sweet revenge.

For second Bumblebee considered to tell her what exactly happened, but he did it a lot and honestly didn't wanted to burden her with his problems.

 _ **HummingBee:**_ _Well, just mission gone wrong, nothing too serious, don't worry :)_

 _ **BlackStarUnicorn**_ _ **:**_ _you know, you can always talk to me, but if don't want you don't have to do it right now.)_

Bee smiles again, he don't deserve her. He must learn to deal with his problems alone, or she might get hurt. She's already risking a lot because she's fighting alongside him. But he can't stop her, she's determent to help and will do this, just because she want and she can. Good thing "Unicorn" is durable as hell.

She's typing again.

 _ **BlackStarUnicorn:**_ _hey! can you help me with elder dragons? i killed Teostra and it was long and painful battle!_ xd

 _ **HummingBee:**_ _Haha, yeah, this guy can be a pain in aft, especially with those explosions. Alright, let's hunt some monsters! :D_

Even if it seems small but request made Bumblebbe feel much better! He got onto his feet and went to his desk with computer and consoles. While turning anything on, Bee started humming a random song. He felt hope again, next time he'll do better and maybe he has a chance to earn respect he's craving for.

One day, one day.

* * *

Hello,thank you for reading!)  
I wrote it very quick, I always thought G1 Bumblebee sometimes have to deal with this kind of thoughts, because many descriptions are hinting this, but I never actually saw it happening in other places than old comics ( I don't whats going on in IDW, forgive me if I'm wrong). So I wanted to explore this idea and I'll keep exploring this in other works, because I relate to it so much)  
Also, english isn't my native language, sorry for any mistakes.

Transformers belongs to Hasbro.


End file.
